The Polls Are Fucking Rigged, And So Shall Mine Be (Week 12)

Alright, I've calmed down. Here we go.

1. Oregon - I love them
2. Non-fumbling WVU - I love them too
3. LSU - They annoy me, so let's hope they lose.
4. Oklahoma - Why not? They beat Missouri and Tejas.
5. Missouri - Is that spelled right? I think they might be really good.
6. Georgia - Have you seen them lately? Yikes.
7. Virginia Tech - Have the turkeys found an offense? Perhaps.
8. Arizona State - They are good. I've dogged them too long.
9. Ohio State - Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
10. USC - Back in the mix, sort of.
11. Florida - Looking good again, but actually only beating shitty teams.
12. Cincinnati - This game is going to be TOUGH.
13. Clemson - On fire right now, which is unprecedented!
14. Kansas - Look, I like these cats, but they just aren't that good. Sorry.
15. Tennessee - Uhhh, sure.
16. Auburn - What is wrong with these guys? UGA is good though.
17. UConn - Was that just an off-day, or was it the real team?
18. Louisville - Why do they lose so much? I don't get it.
19. Rutgers - What do they have against service academies? They taunt Navy and run up the score on Army. What a bunch of guido dicks.
20. Virginia - So tired of the Hoos winning, though that was a nice one on Saturday.
21. Boston College - Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
22. Illinois - maybe too high here
23. Wisconsin - 2 decent games in a row, HOLY SHIT!!!!!
24. USF - Ehhhh, they have totally fallen apart.
25. Fumbling WVU - I hate them.

The Polls Are Fucking Rigged, and So Shall Mine Be (Week 11)

Let's give this a shot. I'm certain that I won't be happy with it though...

1. Oregon - I'm not so sure about their defense, but they are sweeeeeet on offense.
2. WVU - When we come to play, I think we're more like #1. Big game this week to prove that.
3. LSU - They are so damn lucky, but they just keep doing it.
4. Ohio State - They play so close to the vest that they don't make mistakes.
5. Oklahoma - Remain to be tested by Mizzou
6. Mizzou - We'll see what happens in the Big XII title game against OU.
7. Georgia - I dunno about this one.
8. Arizona State - They really are good, but Oregon made them look stupid.
9. Kansas - Good for them running it up on the Huskers. I love Mangino!
10. Virginia Tech - Sadly, they have absolutely no offense.
11. USC - Still wouldn't want to play them really.
12. UConn - Keep on winning and we'll crush your dreams.
13. Auburn - Sure.
14. Texas - Sketchy? Absolutely.
15. Cincinnatti - Great defense, good enough offense.
16. Florida - No defense, subpar offense, somehow I still think they're good.
17. Virginia - Apparently they only lose to the crappiest teams on their schedule.
18. USF - 8 turnovers and still almost pulled it off. I hate them.
19. Boston College - Yeah, this is more like it.
20. Tennessee - Whatever
21. Alabama - Whatever
22. Louisville - I like beating ranked teams!
23. Michigan - HOT! HOT! HOT! and almost Sparty'd
24. Clemson - Did I drop them? I can't remember, and I don't care.
25. Rutgers - Keep chopping! Hahaha.

I can't believe WVU lost to USF. I really can't. We should be sitting on top of it all right now, or at worst, #2. Now, we can't even get past #7 because we continue to be jumped by teams that we would hammer. Oh well, we just have to keep winning. We've still got a ways to go with this season, and some teams have championship games. Sadly, our schedule is crap. Maryland is killing us, as are USF, UL, and RU. Sigh.

New BCS Is Out

We remain #7. We continue to get jumped by teams that win while we are idle. We did move up in the human polls to #6, but are too low in the computers.

The Polls Are Fucking Rigged, and So Shall Mine Be (Week 10)

Alright. Let's get it on.

1. Oregon - so smooth and delicious to watch. They are what we should be.
2. LSU - still dumb and shaky, but no other choice really
3. WVU - Great O, great D, we're really F'ing good.
4. Oklahoma - whatever, who cares, they suck on the road.
5. Arizona State - I don't know anything about them, but I have no idea who to put here. Hey, they're unbeaten!
6. Missouri- again, I know nothing, but that's a bonus now.
7. Georgia - at this moment, they are this good. That will likely change next week.
8. Auburn - sure, why not?
9. Ohio State - Have proved nothing still, but neither has anyone else below them.
10. Alabama - I hope they beat LSU!
11. Virginia Tech - should've won that game
12. Boston College - DIE, should've lost that game
13. UConn - surprise!
14. Kansas - no idea who's on this team. LOVE MANGINO!!
15. USF - umm, play in the 1st half too idiots!!
16. Mississippi State - why the hell not? They have good wins!!!!
17. Florida - ugh, Tebow is slowly wearing down, and they will suffer even more
18. USC - the Mexican football Jesus!!
19. Clemson - who cares, they play in the ACC so it matters not
20. Boise State - smurfs! i love these bastages, but they're not great
21. Hawaii - poop, poop, poop, poop, poop schedule
22. Rutgers - we are just that damn good, and they really aren't bad
23. Cincy - still a fine team, but we'll see what happens
24. South Carolina - love me some Spurrier, but hate his QB situation
25. Michigan - they have to be in here somewhere, but still lost to HOT!HOT!HOT!

I'm gonna be honest here people. I complain an awful lot when I look at the AP/Coaches/Harris/whatever polls. But now that I'm working on my own, it's much more difficult than I thought. There are so many crappy teams that I don't feel should be ranked at all, yet no one to be put above them. 2007, my friends, is completely and utterly insane.

On a very cool note. Check out this link, and you can see how every team is voted by every AP voter. Awesome stuff.

Tuesday in the Rain

Well, there is no Mountaineer press conference or MSN Mountaineer Replay on my beloved Fox College Sports Atlantic channel tonight, as they are showing a women's volleyball game between Florida State and Miami. Ugh. I'll try to catch the Sportsline broadcast online though I guess, so at least I might have something to discuss.

Listening to the radio in Columbus today, the Big Show with Bruce Hooley came on at 5pm. I hated this guy last year, my first year in Columbus, but he seems to have leveled out a bit. He was mad delusional in 2006, claiming Florida and West Virginia run high school offenses, and that the Browneyes would "plant Percy Harvin in the turf if they run that stuff". This season, he's actually pretty good. He thinks the Browneyes will go undefeated, as do I, and he claims that it's a combo of their talent and a terrible schedule. Again, I think tOSU is good, but not great. They will likely go unbeaten, but it's just as much a product of the teams they play.

Tim Brown joined Hooley on the show today, and picked tOSU and LSU to play in the title game. He too thinks the Browneyes go unbeaten, and then proceeded to crush their schedule. Brown implied that the Bucks would almost certainly lose at least 2 games if their schedule were legit. Furthermore, Hooley asked Brown who impressed him this season. He mentioned only two teams, West Virginia and South Florida. He went on to say that USF was upset by a good team under the lights on the road, and that he believes that they are truly a great team that will make noise even with one loss. Mind you, Tim Brown played at Notre Dame, so I was very surprised at his remarks. The BigEast has really raised its profile in the last couple of years.

Kirky Herbstreit's Top 5 Teams:
1. OSU
2. LSU
3. Oregon
4. Oklahoma
5. Boston College

I won't argue with that too much. You can justify each of those teams being in that position, and I believe he ranks based on record and potential finish, rather than who he believes is the best team. He suggested that the upset trend will continue this week, and I think he's absolutely right. Kirky also put Oregon on Upset Alert against USC. I think if USC wins that game, they jump WVU in the BCS, but we'll see. I also think VT will jump us if (and when) they beat Boston College on Thursday.

Bottom line is this: the Mountaineers need to continue taking care of business and hope for some help. If we do that, the rest will take care of itself. The best team we've beaten is ranked #44 in the Sagarin ratings in Maryland. We have no real bragging rights type wins, and are still #7, so let's quite crying about getting no respect from the media. Considering what we've done this season, we're getting plenty.

So let's go Mountaineers, and beat that Rutgers-Jersey ass.

The Polls Are Fucking Rigged, and So Shall Mine Be (Week 9)

Alright kiddies, buckle thy seat belts. Heeeeeeeeere we go.

1. LSU - Shaky? Yes. Dumb? Yes. Most talented team in the nation? Yes.
2. Oregon - Such a great offense, I just can't see them being stopped. They will lose at least one more though.
3. West Virginia - The defense is stout, the offense is the offense. We are gooood.
4. Florida - 2 losses, indeed, but I wouldn't want to play them.
5. Virginia Tech - unpopular, I know, but I have mucho respect for this team right now.
6. Oklahoma - I dunno how I feel about the Sooners, I change my mind too often.
7. USF - I know they lost at Rutgers, but I was more impressed than disappointed.
8. Auburn - I really like this team, even with 3 losses.
9. Arizona State - Who the hell is on this team?
10. USC - Like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.
11. Virginia - Why the hell not?
12. Ohio State - Just keep winning, no one good enough to beat them?
13. Boston College - DIE
14. Rutgers - Look. They are really good, they just F'ed up in 2 games.
15. Kentucky - I didn't buy into Woodson. I do now.
16. Kansas - Huh? I love their fat coach though, he rocks.
17. South Carolina - Ehhh, whatever.
18. Missouri - See #17. Just not impressed. Yet.
19. Alabama - Saban's a dickface, but he's a West Virginia dickface.
20. California - Holy collapse.
21. UCONN - Give the Huskies their due, they are better than I thought.
22. Cincy - Hard for me to put them here after losing to Pitt. How did that happen?
23. Michigan - They are mad sketchy, but seem to be halfway decent anyway.
24. Maryland - These guys are good, but can't hold up for a whole game. I think they get worn out because Friedgen eats their pre-game meal.
25. Louisville - They can lose to anyone (already proven) and can beat anyone (hopefully not the Mountaineers!)

As you can probably guess, my poll is a real mess. It is almost impossible to judge teams on how good they are while disregarding their record. Sadly, I must at least attempt this feat, as tOSU and BC are not top 10 teams. I will not fall into the trap of voting teams highly because of their record without taking what they've shown into consideration. If you disagree with my poll, please comment and let me know what you'd change. Also, please refrain from cursing me or calling me an idiot, as I'm really attempting to do this thing as best I can. Or, feel free to curse me and call me an idiot. I don't really care all that much.

As I see it, WVU needs to keep winning (obviously) and hope for some help. Fortunately, I think that help will come. I figure we'll likely get jumped in the BCS no matter what, but I don't care. We screwed the pooch at USF, and we have to live with that. If we can't play in the title game, I want at least a good BCS berth. That's one more chance to show the nation what WVU football is all about.

I will end on this note. Three years ago, WVU was getting blasted in the media for being ranked in the Top 10 for their schedule, lack of tradition (even though we played for the title twice already), and assorted other nonsense. We've come a long way people. West Virginia has proven itself as a top 10 program, and gets plenty of respect. So let's quit crying about ESPN and talking heads and other fans. You don't lose a game looking as poorly as we did in Tampa and stay near the top if people don't respect you. We are the Big East flagship, and people fear us. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mississippi State in Review and A Look Around the NCAA

So I look at my buddy as Pat White steps on the field to start the game and say, "Shit. I was hoping for Jarrett Brown."
He replies, "Yeah, me too."
I then say, "You know what though? It'll only take one long TD run for me to love him again."
He says, "Yeah."

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!! One snap later, the man-crush is back in full effect.

I would also like to point out that even though we completely turned off the engine after the 1st quarter, I don't so much care. That MSU team was a complete joke, and our defense beat the crap out of them. Marc Magro is a man-beast, and was gnawing on human flesh for much of 3 quarters. His anti-tobacco commercial, however, is stupid as all get out.

Why did Noel Devine not play? I recall seeing him on a kickoff return fake reverse, but that's about it. Anybody know what that was all about? I'd love to get the scoop on that. I keep reading that RichRod just wanted to get Slaton back in the groove, but I don't totally buy that. I mean, if he's the #2 back, why not get him in there at all? It doesn't make any sense to me, but Rich doesn't make any sense to me about half the time anyway. Thanks to Hamilton, in the comments, who noted that the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette answers my question. Devine apparently missed a practice (the absence was indeed excused) and was not allowed to play because of missed practice time.

Great game by the defense all around. The line dominated, the linebackers were sweet, and the backs covered very, very well. I couldn't have been more pleased with that side of the ball.

The offense was its usual badass self as long as it needed to be. Since they only needed to be badass for about 8 minutes, I hope we got some guys rested. It was also cool to see White get uber-pissed when that MSU cockwrangler hit him late. I wanted Owen to ninja-kick that guy in the face just for spite.

I couldn't help but notice fat #95 on MSU's defense dancing quite a bit for a guy whose team was getting butt-raped. I guess that says a little bit about his team-first attitude and overall class. I kept hoping he'd slip a disc or something, but I'm not overly optimistic.

Finally, we've moved up to #7 in the BCS, even though we are #6 in both polls that matter. FYI, we are tied for #10 in the computer averages. Personally, I'm more than fine with #7, and I think if we handle our business from here on out we're in great shape to make some noise. Cincy losing to Pitt hurts us in my opinion, as they could have been a quality win for sure.

Around the nation a bit:
LSU got so lucky on a wretched call at the end of that Auburn game. If it hadn't worked, Les Miles would be filling for a corn dog right now. He's a moron, and I can't stand him. I wish nothing but bad things for his career.

UCONN is one screwed up snap from being 7-0. Their defense looked really good against the hapless Cardinals, and I think they're better than I thought they were. Kudos to them, I think they're a cute little program. I'd hate to see Edsall leave for Syracuse, per the rumor mill.

Newsflash: The Big10 is poop. Penn State sucks ass, and was unbelievably fortunate to escape Bloomington. The same can be said for Michigan against the Fighting Zookers. tOSU was uninspiring as usual, at least on the scoreboard. I spoke to a Browneye compadre though, and he said it was no big deal. He felt tOSU was in command and was never really threatened. I didn't watch that "game" so I'll take his word for it.

I heard on the radio today that Vandy beating USC-E is conclusive evidence that the SEC is by far the deepest and most outstanding conference. I agree that it is, based on the number of good teams. I disagree that Vandy winning is undeniable proof, because when bad teams beat good teams in any other league, it only proves the good teams suck. But whatever, I don't know any SEC fans anyway, so there's no point in me bitching.

Oklahoma is all kinds of unimpressive. They have looked like garbage lately, but they do keep pulling out wins. The computers have them ranked #14, and I agree. If they Big12 had any real good teams, they might be in trouble. I still think the Sooners go down one more time before it's all over.

BC will lose at VT, but VT will likely then jump over us. It does us no good really no matter what happens in that game, as we need VT to lose another and probably BC to lose 2 total. The ACC is what it shall forever be; Virginia Tech's to lose, considering FSU and Miami are in the shitter for the foreseeable future. We'll have to let that one play out and complain more about it later.

I can't see Oregon and Arizona State getting through the Pac-10 unscathed. I have the Ducks losing one more, and ASU dropping 2 or 3. No sweat off my balls there.

tOSU is unlikely to lose because no one in the Big10 can beat them. I'm over it. The Big-10 is straight shit.

LSU will lose. They are too shaky and dumb to get all the way through the rest of their slate. The Bayou Bengals are winning in spite of Les Miles, not because of him. He is a dumb son of a bitch to be quite frank. He better thank his lucky stars that they have the talent they do. For what it's worth, I still don't think their offense is very impressive. Glenn Dorsey, on the other hand, feasts on the hearts and livers of mortal humans.

Thanks to all the upsets and nonsense, college football is fun for me again. When we lost to USF, I was sick about the whole situation. As the next day and subsequent weeks have played out, I could be sick about the fact that we should be #1. As it stands, I'm loving all the chaos, and the fact that we're right back in the mix. This is a year to end all years on the college football front, and regardless of the outcome, we should all savor this. So root for the Mountaineers or whoever, and just roll with it people. This is something to behold.

The Polls Are Fucking Rigged, and So Shall Mine Be

You know what? I keep looking at all these polls that are out, and I really think people are insane. So here's mine. Feel free to comment. I'm basing this on who I think is better than who AT THIS MOMENT, not necessarily season records. Let's face it, a 1 loss team can be on top, because there is no uber-team in 2007. So there.

1. LSU - I still think they're the best team in spite of Les Miles
2. Oklahoma - still F'ing good
3. Oregon - Offense is what I wish ours was
4. WVU - No more bubble screens!!!
5. Florida - 2 close losses to 2 good teams, Tebow, Harvin, Orson Swindle
6. Cal - With Longshore = good, Without Longshore = poop
7. USF - I hate them right now
8. Kentucky - I hate them too
9. South Carolina - How can I hate Spurrier?
10. Missouri - Big 12 is atrocious so whatever
11. Arizona State - Who? Great TV exposure...
12. Cincinnatti - UL can beat anyone or lose to anyone, so not taking much from it
13. Virginia Tech - No offense, great defense
14. Ohio State - Not that good but play only awful teams so won't lose
15. Boston College - DIE
16. Auburn - Looking great these days (at least on defense)but got Croomed
17. Kansas - huh?
18. USC - hahahahahaha, pricks
19. Louisville - I fear thee toothed cardinal! Idiots for losing 3.
20. Tennessee - Unknown commodity here, but crushed Georgia
21. Maryland - Would be higher if not for Wake Forest gag
22. Rutgers - Way to underachieve and fuck our strength of schedule you idiots!
23. Texas Tech - Sure can score, who cares about anything else?
24. Virginia - I hate them. Oh so very much do I hate them.
25. UCONN - little brother, have to put them in here over Michigan or PSU, who have beaten exactly no one either (but managed to lose 2 of them instead of 1)

Weekend Aftermath

Well, here we are. Another crooked-ass weekend of college football has passed us by, and the picture of what the hell is going on has never been less clear. The Mountaineers sat this one out, and hopefully installed some sort of creative offensive gameplan to use against the Fightin' Crooms of Mississippi State.

We somehow managed to drop in the AP poll, though I thought we might as UK jumped us. More surprisingly, however, we actually moved up several spots in the Coaches' Poll. Honestly, there is just so much chaos at this point, who the hell knows where to put anyone. We are ranked 9 in the BCS, which is about where I would put us as well. There are several teams in front of us that will lose, so I think we have a pretty good shot at getting back into the top 5 before it's all said and done.

So I'm listening to the Mike Tirico show at work today, and Kirky Herbstreit is on the air. He proceeds to go through and devalue all teams not named OSU or LSU in the top 10, but especially USF. He masks his own opinion by claiming "it's not what I think should happen, but it's what I think WILL happen". He feels very strongly that USF doesn't have the strength of schedule to play for the Mythical National Championship, at least in the eyes of the voters. He finally proceeded to point out (after being goaded by an email) that OSU does not deserve the #1 spot based on who they've played. He did say, however, that the Browneyes will have the opportunity to prove they do belong, with games at Penn State and Michigan.

So let me get this straight...USF's schedule is too weak because they only win AT #17 Auburn, and beat #9 WVU in Tampa, yet OSU can prove they are legit by winning at unranked PSU and #25 Michigan. Anybody else see something a bit off?

Unfortunately, it's all going to come down to name recognition. OSU is a perennial power, albeit in a two team conference. They will always be in the discussion, because each year they only have to win one real game...Michigan. Frankly, I'm not sure how viable a test that is anymore either. I guess if you can sprinkle 2 teams ranked between 20 and 30 into your schedule, and are named Ohio State, it doesn't matter if you have only beaten Youngstown State (I-AA), Akron (3-4 MAC), Washington (2-4), Northwestern (4-3, but arguably in the worst 10 teams in college football), Minnesota (1-6), Purdue (5-2, has lost 2 in a row now that Indiana State and Central Michigan are off the schedule), and Kent State (3-4 MAC). I understand that many teams have played a crappy schedule at this point, but not many have been THIS crappy, nor will continue to be THIS crappy. So here's your season tOSU fans. Beat unranked PSU and #25 Michigan, and your berth in the title game is apparently legitimate. Thank you, Kirk Herbstreit for the wonderful, insightful commentary. In fairness to Kirky, who I used to like until this season, OSU is #1 by default, because at least they haven't lost to one of these crap teams, which is more than you can say for virtually anybody else, outside of LSU and WVU.

On a side note, Kirk took back all the criticism of OSU's schedule when he appeared later on Columbus radio, letting it be known that he doesn't see anyone in the country scoring against that defense. He also claimed that getting blown out by Florida in last year's title game is unfairly influencing the opinion of OSU this season. Well, Kirk, they didn't play anybody last year (again, Michigan only, who was absolutely massacred by USC in the Rose Bowl) until they were hammered by the Gators. What in God's name makes anyone think it will be different this time around?

Perhaps the Largest Pile of Bullshit Ever

Doesn't Snoop look a little sad? Must be from that fucking joke of a loss to Stanford that his beloved USC Trojans just suffered. Well, fear not dear Snoop (best fucking rapper of ALL TIME!!), the pollsters decided it's not that big of a deal to lose at home to a team that is, well, just too fucking horrible for words. I mean it, Stanford is the worst of any BCS doormat. So what price did the Trojans pay for this atrocity against college football? Well, in the coaches poll, they dropped all of 5 fucking spots. Yes, that's five. As in, still ahead of WVU, who lost to the now #5 ranked team in the country, on the road, at night, at the first sellout in the history of that program, their biggest game OF ALL FUCKING TIME, with 6 turnovers, by 8 points. The AP, to its credit, did drop them to 10, right behind WVU at 9, but that poll doesn't count in the BCS. Look, I understand the need for the polls, but we have to come up with some voters that have credibility. I know, as long as we win, it'll work out. But for the love of all that is holy, this is some fucking bullshit. Apparently, Stewart Mandel of CNNSI agrees with me.